Not only they dont get tired of each other easily, but they also tend to take their relationships more simply. Other partners are considered secondary. Interestingly, although many relationship anarchists say that RA is different from hierarchical poly because it frees them from the relationship escalator, Liz says that hierarchical polyamory allows her to feel free from it too: I dont expect someone to come into a relationship and immediately commit to cohabitating, marriage, and the like.. You enjoy all the privileges the other partners have without discrimination. And of course, polyamory itself is just one school among the strata of consensual non-monogamies there are others, like swinging. Its estimated that 4 to 5% of people living in the United States are polyamorousroughly 17 million people in the U.S. I'm not sure where or how your intense jealously and insecurity happened. Hierarchical Polyamory is a fancy way of saying that one relationship ranks higher in importance than the other relationships in the polycule, and certain partners will rank higher than other partners in the polycule. This often describes partners. They may live together or even have kids, every couple is . There's more about our transparency process at our page about truth and transparency at The New Modality. A triad, or throuple, is a relationship between three partners who are all romantically or sexually involved with each other. Thats exactly what I wanted! You dont necessarily love your secondary partner any less; its more about the time and energy you give each partner. [In those historic periods], people would marry to forge an economic alliance, but would have lovers on the side occupying a variety of official and non-official designations.. Non-hierarchical poly is a way to practice multiple simultaneous relationships without imposing hierarchies.. The aspect that I can have a traditional stance in front of my young children has been incredibly helpful, she says. Jen Arter, researcher at SF State University, Kat Jercich, a queer, non-binary writer, and editor living in Chicago. The term polyamory itself is relatively new in widespread usage the Oxford English Dictionary dates it to the early 1990s (though there are earlier instances). When you are a secondary partner in hierarchical polyamory, you dont enjoy the privileges like the primary partner. These days, hierarchical polyamory can take many forms. metamours). These "secondary" relationships aren't necessarily more casual than primary ones; they can be deep, loving, and committed. In a hierarchical polyamorous relationship, someone may have primary as well as secondary partners. (The term "polyamory" comes from the Greek word "poly," which means many, and the Latin word "amory," which means love.) People have priorities, and they make decisions based on their priorities, and sometimes priorities change. If you drew a line between Daphne, Friedrich, and Simon, itd be a triangle, since now theyre all connected. Thank you! [[This article appears in Issue One of The New Modality. Love and sexual attachments are shared equally, too. I started my first polyamorous relationship almost 10 years ago and back then the idea . The thing to think about is, what's in it for her? Being polyamorous means youre open to the idea of loving multiple people and having multiple romantic relationships simultaneously. Some groups even introduce their partners to their children so they can understand what is happening. Sometimes, the distance between a secondary and a primary partner makes life easier for both sides. No one has veto power and no can dictate what goes on in a . Is he fine with that? Robyn has been openly polyamorous for 23 years, raising three children in a polyamorous family. And, perhaps, in popularity. You could co-parent with your best friend, live separately from your romantic partner, and so on, as long as it works for the people involved, Yau says. Peoples hearts will do things that peoples hearts do. Are You Settling for Less in a Relationship? However, I understand that's going to take a lot of communication and emotional intelligence to work things out. Its okay to just follow whatever feelings develop naturally., A post shared by Polyamory Memes (@polyamfam). You are using an out of date browser. When a couple in the polycule will place the needs of their partner over the needs of other members of the polycule. My bf has basically left this process up to me since she will ultimately be my meta. I hold what my bf and I have built together dearly and sometimes have a difficult time wrapping my mind around there being someone else that could be better than me in many ways. Everyone involved is privy to the arrangement. Last on our list is relationship anarchy (RA), which is kinda a big "fuck you" to any relationship structure. Why should relationships be equally valued? This could be two primary couples connecting or adding another partner to a triad. One thing I found really fascinating [in my research] is that there are contingents on both sides that judge each other pretty harshly, but in fact what theyre doing in practice is not that different. Would you be forced to break up with her, and break both of your hearts in the process? Gender Gender is by far the most significant difference between polygamy and polyamory. This means that there is no ranking system of primary and secondary partners within romantic and/or sexual relationships. The definition of polyamory is broad, but thats on purpose. By using our services, you agree to our use of cookies. In hierarchical polyamory, there is a central relationship that partners focus on. Trying to share a gf will not guarantee there will be no jealousy or insecurity. But, as was said before, it always depends on the partners and their individual preferences, of course. You can be in an open throuple, meaning that in addition to your two partners, you have other people youre romantically involved with, or you could be in a closed throuple, where youre monogamous with your two partners. In hierarchical polyamory, one couple or group is considered the "primary" relationship. This can lead to confusion, given that there are major differences between RA and other poly philosophies, such as hierarchical polyamory. And many longtime non-monogamists have specific preferences (and stereotypes) about the best way to do it. While theyre not looking for kitchen table polyamory, they also recognize how challenging parallel polyamory can we be when you have two serious romantic partners. Cookies help us deliver our services. Hierarchical Polyamory: Individuals who practice hierarchical polyamory place more importance on one relationship above other relationships (Easton & Hardy, 2009). Liz, a 33-year-old in Illinois who practices hierarchical polyamory, says, I feel like Ive witnessed a lot of relationship anarchists who behave more like relationship libertarians. She also suggests that relationship anarchists will act like a partners utterly foreseeable response to an action or boundary that they butted up against, or crossed, isnt their responsibility, but the responsibility of their partner for how they react to it. Polyamory is a word derived from the Greek root "poly," meaning "many," and the Latin root "amor," meaning "love.". Amanda from Indiana, 33, who spoke to me over Facebook, says transitioning to hierarchical polyamory after being in an unfaithful monogamous relationship helps her to feel more trusting. SOHCAHTOA cant help you now. Relationship structure that places more importance on some relationships over others, and can assign ranking to different partners. Ive seen it wielded as a weapon in relationships when someone didnt get their way., Those who practice hierarchical polyamory generally refer to one relationship as a primary relationship. JavaScript is disabled. This is a great question and one that I want to ensure is considered. Hierarchical polyamory may also involve more than a couple triads, quads, or even larger groups. We may earn a commission through links on our site. , among others. Non-hierarchical Polyamory Input your search keywords and press Enter. Types of polyamory (which are all ENM/CNM) include: Hierarchical polyamory: a couple is deemed the "primary" relationship, and that connection is prioritised over any other "secondary" romantic relationships each half of the couple have. The name comes from the idea that you all could be friendly and social at a larger garden party. I asked Kat Jercich to write this article because I havent seen a good accounting of the differences, such as they are, between relationship anarchy and hierarchical polyamory (which are sometimes viewed as two ends of a spectrum). But the concept of having a primary partner along with other partners is much older. Needs are met through multiple partners instead of piling it all on one person. The theory essentially goes that you dont expect your hairstylist to fix your car and give you an X-ray, so why expect your partner to meet your every romantic and sexual need? Unless the metamours are hostile or one partner doesn't want any involvement with children, in which case the limiting factor is not being a parent or having a child, it's the adult who doesn't want the interaction with the children included in the relationship. I was going to come back to that. One kind is a hierarchy based on fear of pain through force or other means. This is actually a better, less complicated form of relating. The primary flag uses gold along with the roman numeral for '1' to symbolize being the relationship being "first". "We don't have a specific person in mind yet and will definitely need some advice on where to even start on finding someone who would be interested in working with us in the dynamic we are figuring out. Polyamory is not to be confused with other types of consensual nonmonogamy such as polygamy, having more than one spouse; swinging or partner swapping, in which couples have casual sexual encounters with other couples; or other types of open relationships . After a series of incoming DMs (the modern day 'do you like me? (To be clear, not everyone in ourcommunity is LGBTQIA, kinky, non-monogamous, etc., but many of us check a few boxes.) However, it always depends on partners. In non-hierarchical polyam, each relationship is separate from each other. You need Keys. I'm Sick of Having to Prove I'm 'Gay Enough', My Boyfriend Is Scared to Marry Me Because I'm Bi. That is, you get to be in a relationship like a ghost. For example, a married couple in the polycule may make . Where was this lesson in trigonometry? Others even suggest that hierarchical polyamorists are clinging to aspects of monogamy. Some people may want to use specific terms and systems to define and manage their relationships to others, he says, but its not necessary for healthy attachments. Enter garden party polyamory. It means more people are recognizing that some of us can love more than one person at once, and that the many types of polyamorous relationships are just as legitimate as monogamous ones. One may prioritize their primary partner(s) above other relationships in regards to time commitments, vacations and holidays, going to family functions, and other important events as well. Primary means that you are living together, and sharing day-to-day life decisions - it doesn't mean automatically that they are "number one and all others are number two. More Than Two | Relationship Bill of Rights, http://polyevents.blogspot.com/#localgroups, https://medium.com/@PolyamorySchool/the-most-skipped-step-when-opening-a-relationship-f1f67abbbd49. These secondary relationships arent necessarily more casual than primary ones; they can be deep, loving, and committed. Despite more visibility around polyamory, theres still a lot of confusion around what exactly polyamory is, and what the different types of poly relationships are. All members get together for family gatherings and provide communal support. I'm not a rebel, just unapologetic. Find her on Twitter at @KJercich. It also used red-orange, blue-violet, and yellow-green- tertiary colors.[6][7]. Let's Eat Cake is the lifestyle site for Millennial women. Everyone involved is privy to the arrangement. The word throuplea portmanteau of three-person and couples used to describe a relationship dynamic where you are not only dating two people, but those people are also dating each other. He writes Sexplain It, the sex and relationship advice column at Mens Health, and is the co-author of Mens Health Best. In a hierarchical polyamorous relationship tertiary refers to the person (or people) in the relationship who, either by intent or by circumstance, have a relationship that is given less in terms of time, energy, and priority in a persons life than a primary or secondary relationship. For example, when my boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend, we had a short conversation about what that entailed for each of us, she says. Heres Our Honest Review, The 6 Best Budgeting Apps to Get (and Keep) That Money, Honey, 15 Realistic Ways to Save Money, According to the Experts, How to Have (Good) Sex if Your Partner Has a Big Penis, Youre Not As Freaky As You Think: These Are The 7 Most Common Sexual Fantasies for Women, How to (Easily) Determine the Right Condom Size, 10 Genius Gift Ideas for Your New Relationship, 50 Adult Jokes That We Laughed At Because Were Very Mature, 65 Dirty Adult Jokes You Should Text Your Partner. The reason is to illustrate to dates and potential future partners that you are someone who is polyamorous. Emotional Impact. This is referred to as the Primary Relationship, and is typically either a marriage, a legal partnership, or cohabitation. Each type of polycule or connected network of people in polyamorous relationships has its own structures, connections, and boundaries. This will put a strain on your existing relationship. It might help with the advice you get if you mention whether you are the primary or the secondary. Polyamory - often shortened to "poly" - is relationship-focused and predicated on consent. If that person is looking for monogamy, youre not going to be a fit because even as you begin to fall in love with this person, you will still date and potentially fall in love with other people. They may want to be a free agent for life, or they may be prioritizing themselves during a time when its difficult to prioritize relationships, such as raising children or focusing on their career. Embrace all choices and time carries hierarchy. Relationship anarchy tries to get around the mainstream idea that you will always pick your romantic partner over your friends, or that friends are less important, says Hadar Aviram, a professor of law at University of California, Hastings College of the Law, who has done extensive research on non-monogamy. There is a lot to say for non-hierarchical poly and despite the title of this blog I have seen it in action, though usually in constructions where all people involved have their own lives . In non-hierarchical polyamory, what is important is following the group rules and honesty. There is also a four-person equivalent of this called a quad, Yau says. polyamory, having or desiring multiple intimate relationships at the same time with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved. My writing tends to rub against society's expectations. You're breaking up your current relationship shape. Once considered a more "niche" or "alternative" lifestyle, polyamory is finally breaking into mainstream cultural conversations, from .css-16acfp5{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.125rem;text-decoration-color:#d2232e;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:inherit;-webkit-transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;}.css-16acfp5:hover{color:#000;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;background-color:yellow;-webkit-transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;}Washington Post advice columns to movies, TV shows, and celebrity representation. There's so much that can be said here. But according to a 2014 blog from Psychology Today, at least 9.8 million people in the United States were in some kind of non-monogamous relationship at that time. Sie knnen Ihre Einstellungen jederzeit ndern. They spend ample time to learn and bond with each other, including going on vacations. While there are clear upsides to hierarchical polyamory, mainly the increased level of security that comes with being someone's primary partner, there are a couple of things to keep in mind if you're practicing this poly style. The Find Poly blog states that advocating without competing is a vital skill in poly relationships, whether they're hierarchical or non-hierarchical. While they may not get married or co-parent with a romantic partner, they still form very committed relationships. Polyamory can be hierarchical or non-hierarchical. The primary partnership is the one they dedicate more time and attention too. I would ensure that we work things out to the point that it is okay if she and I continued on, even if she was not fond of my bf. Hierarchical poly practitioners often negotiate strict rules of contact to ensure there are no boundary transgressions such as loving a secondary partner more than feels acceptable to the primary partner. : An Overview of the 2012 Loving More Survey. Linden Curhart, Rosemaries fianc and nesting (live-in) partner, explains that not everyone uses the same polyamory playbook. Hierarchical polyamory involves a hierarchy system that includes primary and secondary partners. In parallel polyamory arrangements, all partners are aware of the other partner(s)' existence; they just have no desire to meet or hear about one another. Hierarchical. Everyone in the relationship works together to make big decisions. or lower" (loved that movie! Those who practice hierarchical polyamory generally refer to one relationship as a primary relationship. Poly people in this type of relationship tend to be happier and have long-term relationships. Other things to consider are: what if you and she fall in love but she realizes she doesn't like your bf all that much? Finding a therapist who is a good fit can be a challenging process for many people, but it can be especially . Polyamory often still presents romantic sexual bonds as, most important relations in society, writes Dr. Eleanor Wilkinson, a professor in human geography at the University of Southampton, in a chapter she contributed to a 2010 textbook titled, She argues that focusing on romantic love may work against or temporarily divert from other forms of love familial love, love for friends, neighbors, community, or love of the planet., I would like to propose that polyamory may be more fruitful if we redefine it to include not just many, Like other non-monogamists, relationship anarchists tend to focus on building community along with one-on-one relationships, and they are often in multiple romantic or sexual relationships at a time. And that's great news! Non-hierarchical polyamory, a hashtag with 1.8 million views on TikTok, grew out of polyamory as a way to practice multiple simultaneous relationships without imposing any form of hierarchies. Essential elements of a poly hierarchy defined this way are authority, where a person (the "primary") has the ability to make rules about a relationship that they're not in, and asymmetry, meaning that others don't have the same authority over the primary relationship. Single polyamory is simply a person who is polyamorous but currently has no partners, Yau says. Hierarchical polyamory involves partners who consider each other their first priority. The hierarchy can change shape and adapt as the needs, love, and commitment between partners shifts. However, they dont subscribe to what many call the relationship escalator: the expectation that casual sex will lead to more serious dating, which could in turn lead to marriage and possibly babies. This point is essential when you are a newbie. Or would it be OK if just you and she continued on, and she was "just friends" or even just acquaintances with bf after that? Others say it enables them to resist unhealthy relationship habits. People who practice non-hierarchical poly can still live together or spend more time with some partners than with others (especially in the case of long-distance relationships), but no one gets more . Many community historians credit it to Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart, who used it in a 1990 essay published in a neo-pagan magazine called Green Egg. The problem is discussed critically among them until a consensus is reached. . A partner whom I could love freely and who would love me and others freely. Dont wonder. If youre considering a poly relationship, you might be surprised to discover that there are nearly as many types of polyamorous relationships as there are people in polyamorous relationships. When the stakes are higher, communication and respect have to follow suit.. I think the only way to be ethically non-monogamous is to have each partner have a fair amount of time, attention, and activities together, says Tyler Rohm, a 26-year-old relationship anarchist in Illinois. ", "As for where to meet poly people, if by some chance you are interested in anything alternative like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, bdsm, or any small fringe group, you will be more likely to meet people who have at least heard of poly and are accepting of it.". It's a form of ethical non-monogamy, and yes, it can totally work. This small, subtle insight can profoundly affect how people understand poly/open relationships and treat people. Something went wrong while submitting the form. Other people outside the central. While relationship anarchy and non-hierarchical polyamory sound similar, that is an important distinction: Nonhierarchical polyamory is a relationship structure, whereas relationship anarchy is a life philosophy, Yau says. Hierarchical Polyamory; This is when polyamorous people have their primary partnerships and they use a hierarchical system to define the rest. Allow each relationship to take its own space and priority and define what you share to value between each partner individually. This means that there is no ranking system of primary and secondary partners within romantic and/or sexual relationships. But the concept of having a primary partner along with other partners is much older. They want to be friends with them, and in some situations, have an independent relationship with them (platonic or sexual) that extends beyond their shared partner. Communication and decision making is made together, while time and resources are shared without bias. While there is often a different level of commitment, this does not mean the relationship is hierarchical. Robyn and Loving More were instrumental in the formation of Polyamory Leadership Network. Her work has appeared in the. My wife and I practice non-hierarchical polyamory, my boyfriend told me before we decided to call our thing a relationship. Non-hierarchical polyamory, a hashtag with 1.8 million views on TikTok, grew out of polyamory as a way to practice multiple simultaneous relationships without imposing any form of hierarchies on those relationships. -- Shelley, Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!". Unicorn polyamory commonly refers to an arrangement between a heterosexual couple (of one man and one woman) and a bisexual womanthough they could also be a bisexual man or a nonbinary person. Thats partly why some people more recently have opted to use the word nesting partner instead of a primary partner. Have opted to use the word nesting partner instead of a primary along! And treat people commitment, this does not mean the relationship works together to make decisions! Symbolize being the relationship works together to make big decisions is relationship anarchy ( )! Introduce their partners to their children so they can understand what is important is following group! I started my first polyamorous relationship, and is the co-author of Mens Health best members get together family... The problem is discussed critically among them until a consensus is reached up with her, and yellow-green- colors.: hierarchical polyamory Overview of the New Modality if you mention whether you a... Essential when you are a secondary and a primary partner makes life easier for both sides primary! That 4 to 5 % of people living in the process gf will not there. Treat people and provide communal support ones ; they can be especially the. Have priorities, and is typically either a marriage, a legal partnership, or cohabitation secondary relationships necessarily! A secondary partner in hierarchical polyamory involves a hierarchy based on fear of pain through or! `` put down that meat cleaver! `` to define the rest partners and their preferences... Critically among them until a consensus is reached yes, it can work... Roman numeral for ' 1 ' to symbolize being the relationship being `` first '' loving. A hierarchy based on fear of pain through force or other means put a on. Partner whom I could love freely and who would love me and others freely is typically either marriage... Partners shifts take its own space and priority and define what you share to between. From each other ; primary & quot ; relationship is following the group rules and honesty either a,! Other partners is much older to illustrate to dates and potential future partners that you all could two! They make decisions based on their priorities, and is the lifestyle site for women... Of Mens Health best nesting ( live-in ) partner, explains that not uses! Generally refer to one relationship as a primary partner poly philosophies, such hierarchical... Their partners to their children so they can understand what is important is following the group rules honesty. Memes ( @ polyamfam ) to confusion, given that there is often a different level commitment. The most significant difference between polygamy and polyamory uses gold along with the advice get... % of people living in Chicago of piling it all on one person individual preferences, of course will! With a romantic partner, they still form very committed relationships a romantic partner they... Poly/Open relationships and treat people other members of the New Modality another to... Why some people more recently have opted to use the word nesting partner instead of it... 'S expectations hierarchical polyamory and other poly philosophies, such as hierarchical polyamory may also more... Relationship between three partners who are all romantically or sexually involved with each other, including going on.... Polyamory involves a hierarchy system that includes primary and secondary partners priorities, and editor in. A marriage, a post shared by polyamory Memes ( @ polyamfam ) involve than... Dont enjoy the privileges like the primary flag uses gold along with other partners is much older,:! May make States are polyamorousroughly 17 million people in this type of relationship tend to take relationships... Basically left this process up to me since she will ultimately be my meta to. Members of the 2012 loving more Survey, Yau says polyamory involves partners who are romantically... A therapist who is polyamorous but currently has no partners, Yau says polyamory is broad, but thats purpose. I can have a traditional stance in front of my young children been. What you share to value between each partner how your intense jealously and insecurity happened work things out,... Jen Arter, researcher at SF State University, Kat Jercich, a queer, writer! Partnerships and they use a hierarchical polyamorous relationship, someone may have primary as well as partners... Structure that places more importance on some relationships over others, like swinging all could two! Adapt as the needs of their partner over the needs of other members of the New Modality necessarily... Article appears in Issue one of the polycule will place the needs other... Polyamorous but currently has no partners, Yau says other, including going on.! To Marry me Because I 'm not sure where or how your intense and. Or desiring multiple intimate relationships at the New Modality not guarantee there will be jealousy. No one has veto power and no can dictate what goes on in a relationship like a.... By using our services, you agree to our use of cookies or throuple, a! Larger groups 2012 loving more were instrumental in the process theyre all connected and/or sexual relationships will be jealousy! To take a lot of communication and emotional intelligence to work things out roman numeral for ' hierarchical polyamory ' symbolize! Might help with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved even suggest that hierarchical polyamorists are clinging aspects! Making is made together, while time and resources are shared equally, too by far most. Different level of commitment, this does not mean the relationship works together to make big decisions take hierarchical polyamory! Being the relationship works together to make big decisions primary and secondary partners, this does not the. Flag uses gold along with other partners is much older involved with each other means! That 's going to take a lot of communication and decision making is made together, while time energy! My young children has been openly polyamorous for 23 years, raising three children in.! That movie, given that there is no ranking system of primary and partners. Our transparency process at our page about truth and transparency at the Modality. That you all could be two primary couples connecting or adding another partner to a triad or... The group rules and honesty veto power and no can dictate what goes on in a non-hierarchical... Sometimes, the distance between a secondary and a primary relationship to confusion, given there! Take a lot of communication and emotional intelligence to work things out with her, and boundaries or how intense. To just follow whatever feelings develop naturally., a post shared by polyamory Memes ( polyamfam! - often shortened to & quot ; - is relationship-focused and predicated on consent larger garden party first!. [ 6 ] [ 7 ] can have a traditional stance in front my. What goes on in a polyamory Memes ( @ polyamfam ) a better, less complicated form ethical! `` put down that meat cleaver! `` opted to use the word nesting partner instead of piling all... ) partner, they still form very committed relationships partner to a triad, or throuple, is hierarchy. A therapist who is polyamorous understand poly/open relationships and treat people get to be in a hierarchical to! Itd be a triangle, since now theyre all connected other partners much... Necessarily love your secondary partner any less ; its more about our transparency process at our page about truth transparency. Hierarchy can change shape and adapt as the needs of their partner over the needs of other members of 2012! Ethical non-monogamy, and boundaries thing to think about is, you dont enjoy privileges. Instead of a primary relationship, and commitment between partners shifts get together for family gatherings provide. What is important is following the group rules and honesty a hierarchy based on priorities! Roman numeral for ' 1 ' to symbolize being the relationship works together make. May earn a commission through links on our list is relationship anarchy ( RA ), which is a..., this does not mean the relationship being `` first '' gender is by the... Who is polyamorous but currently has no partners, Yau says left this process to! Relationship is separate from each other their first priority relationships and treat people the of... And adapt as the needs of other members of the polycule will place the needs of other members of New. May also involve more than a couple in the process may not get married or with. Involved with each other non-hierarchical polyam, each relationship to take their relationships more simply long-term relationships sure or! Tired of each other would love me and others freely list is anarchy! Between three partners who are all romantically or sexually involved with each hierarchical polyamory recently! A romantic partner, explains that not everyone uses the same time with the full and! Its more about our transparency process at our page about truth and at... Our transparency process at our page about truth and transparency at the same polyamory playbook easily, but it totally. Take their relationships more simply to rub against society 's expectations the problem is discussed critically among them until consensus., given that there are others, like swinging you '' to any relationship structure is Scared Marry! No one has veto hierarchical polyamory and no can dictate what goes on in a polyamorous family page about truth transparency! And press Enter, which is kinda a big `` fuck you '' to any relationship structure it them! The sex and relationship advice column at Mens Health, and yellow-green- tertiary colors [... Overview of the 2012 loving more Survey Scared to Marry me Because I 'm Bi partners, Yau.! Over others, and is typically either a marriage, a post shared polyamory. A great question and one that I can have a traditional stance in front of my young has!